Pinch me!

Pinch me...I’m dreaming!  

For the past several months I have been blogging about India, at least weekly at www.myrisingstaroutreach.com

I have heard so many stories, seen so many pictures and stalked so many blogs about India.  With each story I read I envision myself being there doing what they are doing filling my own pages full of memories that will forever change my heart.  

With each photo my heart aches to be behind the camera and capture my own version of “India!”  

I want to make a difference in ME and from what I’ve learned so far, India will do just that.

I knew the first day I signed up to write Rising Star’s blog, that I was going to be there one day.  Honestly, I didn’t think it would be so soon.

Out of duty, I filled out an application in February to volunteer for Rising Star Outreach.  

After all, I write their blog and my main objective is to encourage others to go.

So, I filled out all the paper work and randomly selected Session 2 as my departure date.  What difference did it make? I thought.  

I knew my application was going directly to Dani, and I work with her at the office.  She knew my desires to go and she also knew my young family and responsibilities I now have. I figured it was more important that I submit an application than pick the right date to go.   I just wanted to do as much as I could- and at that moment sending in my application was as far as I could go.

A week later I was in the office to work on the the blog and I noticed my name was added to the list of Session 2 Volunteers posted on the wall.  My knees got a bit weak when I saw it.  To me that meant commitment!  I couldn’t go to India that soon!  My kids are too small.  I don’t have the money.  There is no way my husband could cover for me while I’m gone that long...I’m still nursing my baby!

For 3 months my name stared back at me from that volunteer wall!  I tried to pretend it wasn’t there as I blogged to the group about their progress.  I continued to get updated reminders from Dani, as do all volunteers, about dues and ways to prepare for my trip.  I used the info for more blogging material and wished so badly that I really was going to India with them.

I remember one day in particular walking onto the office while Dani was eating lunch with a friend.  She introduced me to her by saying, “This is Traci, she is going to India with you in Session 2.”

I’m not sure what my body language said but inside I felt an unloyal panic!  

“I’m not going with session 2!“ I cringed inside.  ”I don’t see it happening!”

As I continued to create the blog I would get surges of enthuasium about going to India.  I knew I was going.  I knew it would happen.  I knew the time would come, but I didn’t know when.

One day in April my feelings began to change.  April 29th was the deadline for all fees to be paid.  I received a letter stating I had ZERO dollars paid.  I laughed about it because by now it was clear, so I thought, that I was NOT going to India.  

That day I was creating a countdown page on the blog for the volunteers really serious about going with Session 2. 

  I sent an email to Dani saying:

        “So, I was thinking about adding all the names of those who are in session two to the                                                       Volunteer page.

     Not the names of people like me -who haven't paid a penny, but those who really will board   the plane.

What do you think?

She replied with: I love that idea! 

and sent me the list of all the Volunteers... my name included!

That night as I worked on this Countdown page my feelings changed from, I want to go to India to YOU NEED TO GO TO INDIA!

I no longer felt like I was “wishing” to go to India.  I felt I NEED to go to India.

There was an urgency about going that I haven’t felt before.  I decided right then I really was going to India.  

But how?

The next day the answer came.

As I was chasing my kids to their various activities I found a few minuets in between to stop at the Rising Star office.  

I had to talk to Dani about my new found commitment to going to India.  Becky Douglas happened to be in the office that day too.  The first thing Becky said to me was:  “We’ve been talking and you need to go to India.”  

Chills ran through my body as I explained to them my similar thoughts from the day before.

They informed me that a $1,000 contribution was available for me from donations! 

This is when it became evident that I need to go to India and the Lord was making it happen.  

I have felt so humbled as this story continues to unfold.  

Earlier that same day while on the phone with my mom, I shared my growing desire to go as a Volunteer.  

“Mom, would you be interested in flying out here to watch my kids while I was gone?”  I questioned.  

I’m glad she couldn’t see my face.  It was all twisted up like a child does when begging for something they really want and aren’t so sure they are going to get it.

“Yea, Sure!  I could come out if you really are going.  When are the dates?” she asked.

“Really?!?!”  I unwrinkled my face and a huge sense of relief came over me.  

“Yes, just give me the exact dates and let me know if you really are going.”

During this same conversation she informed me of $2,000 my grandpa left to all his grandkids as an inheritance when he passed away last month!  I got off the phone and sat quietly for a moment processing the conversation.  My journey had just began!