You are marriage?

Hobi's visit to India 2012

I love to tell the kids here that I am married.  The response is always the same.  Sometimes I bring up the subject just to get the reaction.  It starts out with wide eyes and gaping mouth.  Then the kids exchange looks and say things I can’t understand because its in Tamil.  

Then I take a double stab and hold up 4 fingers.

“You have 4 children?!” they gasp.

“Yes, boy, girl, boy, girl” I smile.

“What age are you?

My smart answer is a question back.  ”How old do you think I am?“

Now this is the best part.

You are 19?

Sometimes I get a low 20 but that feels just as good.

I soak up the youthful moment while they eye me suggesting they don’t believe I have 4 kids.

”What are their names?“

I don’t understand this question...does it really matter?  Still I tell them and then they beg to know my real age.

I tell them I am 34 years old and there is a pause.

What is your husbands name? they still interrogate.

His name is Sam.

Their eyes survey my body...looking for evidence of a lie.

I can tell when they believe me.  They’ll make eye contact with me and

smile with approval then ask: "Was it a Love marriage?"

(love marriage means you didn't have an arranged marriage, which is still a major tradition.)

Yes, it was a love marriage. 

barefoot with a shovel

Today I visited a tiny leprosy colony to help build a latrine.

  This little colony has never had a toilet!!

We dug trenches for the foundation.  It was a HOT day so I defiantly worked up a sweat.  I used a primitive looking shovel and actually think they work better than our American ones, and the dirt pans were pretty handy too.  I did like the Indians and worked bare feet along with them.

Six people live in this colony (I think)  I only met 3 of them.  Their colony is smaller than my backyard. A guy named raja and his wife are full of sunshine!  He speaks a little English, enough to give me a tour of his home and introduce me to his neighbor.

 She has one of the worse cases of leprosy I've seen.  

She isn’t what her appearance is.  She curled right up to me when I sat next to her.  She told me her husband passed away last year. 

Cooking with coconuts

Saturday I went into Chennai for a cooking class.  (The Rising Star Campus is in a remote village 2 hours away)

I spent the day with 2 Indian women learning about Indian culture and how to prepare a meal.  I had a great time, mostly because of the company I was in.  

The women began by giving a tour through a market street and showed us where she purchases food.  To be honest, I was more interested in taking pictures than what she was talking about.  :)

 Our meal took FOREVER to prepare but it was great.  I asked how they get anything else done when meals are so time consuming.  I was told the woman are in charge to cook the meals everyday for the husband. 

BTW the women only eat the husbands leftover food.  The rest of the duties are hired out.  The women in India need help getting it all done!!  

I think I’m going to bring one home.

 Maybe two.

Photo, Photo, Photo

The events over the last few days are all jumbled in my head.  I can't remember what day it is half the time, which is great because it really doesn't matter here.  When it comes to recording what's taken place I don't know where to start.  When I think about it, the things that took place this morning seem like a day ago.  I'll just throw things out here and lets assume it was today (or yesterday, maybe even earlier this week)

I'll start with stating I am bunking in a room with 6 other women and all six are sleeping (3 of them snoring lol) and I am wide awake.  Perfect time to reflect, right?  While on the topic of these 6 other women I have to say I am thoroughly amused by them.  Some of them have me by 30 years or more and I only hope to be as fun as they are.  Tonight I laughed till I cried.  Who knew old age could be so much fun!!  

This morning I visited a leprosy colony called Barathapuram.  It's one of Rising Star's largest leprosy colonies.  The Mobile Medical team visits this colony every 2 weeks to assist patients with their wounds.  Volunteers remove old bandages (from the previous 2 weeks) wash the wounds (usually found on the feet and hands) and rub them in oil.  They are then seen by a doctor and given any medications needed and set on their way.  

This process is sometimes painful but most the time the patients look forward to the visits.  This is a time they get physical touch and TLC.  They soak up all the attention arranging themselves to have their picture with you.  I think they like getting pictures taken to see themselves.  They usually ask to look at it.  Here at the school the kids are the same way, they say "You take picture of me." Followed by "Let me see!" 

That what Indians do with Americans.  

While at this colony one of the old ladies made sure she got attention.  As soon as she saw me holding a camera she came to me and grabbed the closest person to her and insisted I take their photo.  

 Once I had taken the picture (and shown it to her) she wanted a picture taken with me, and the game goes on.

Each time I walked pass her she reached out to hold me.  She liked it when I sat with her.  She held my hands and patted my lap till I was needed somewhere else.

This guy had a crush on me ;)  He pulled out a cell phone (?!?) from his pocket and had one for his own.

After a long day at the colony I was so glad to return to the Hostel.  Before I was able to put down my bag I heard a group was taking a walk through a neighboring village.  I was way too tired to make the walk until... I had a little lecture in my mind telling me "It's not everyday you are in India."(until I come back again)  So, I turned around and followed.  We walked through the streets just as the school children were coming home.  Kids from both side of the street would come running out to say "Hello" in their cute little voices.  Then of course they wanted a photo...then they wanted to see the photo...then they wanted to take my camera and do it themselves.  

The girl in pink played a game with me.  I sat on the street and she inched her way toward unsure of her safety it seemed.  If I moved she would run away, then return repeating the process.  After a few minuets I had gained her trust enough to be inches from my face playing the staring game.

She is a beggar.  She told us her baby was under the blanket but it was clear a baby was not inside. It looked like a box ??

Tomorrow the school is having Sports Day.  It's a big deal.  They spent weeks rehearsing and decorating.  I love that they take such pride in what they do.  Everyone is talking about it on campus.  

  

Embarrassed!!!

There are some things in the American culture that are NOT accepted in India.

The Indian culture is different.  I can't seem to keep the rules.  It's humiliating to say the least!

In 2011 I learn it's ok to eat with your hands.  Sounds good to me!  I jumped right in with that change.

Even though I was using my fingers to eat I still got strange looks from some kids.
After a few days a more outspoken girl turns to me at meal time and informs me it's "dirty" to eat with your left hand!
I turn red because I am a "Lefty" and sure enough I was using my left hand!
It's "dirty" because the left hand is used to clean yourself in the bathroom.

To shed some light on this tradition let me inform you that the Indians use "squatter" toilets.  No toilet paper.  Just a bucket of water on the floor to be used to "Wash" up.  (Here at Rising Star Outreach campus we also have squatter toilets but paper is provided as long as it's not flushed, rather it's disposed of in a trash can in the stall.

I reflected to the many meals I've eaten with these kids and recall the unspoken disgust they had with me.

Not long after I am again educated on poor eating manners.  I'm sitting in a meal circle with the school girls and find eyes are on me again!

"Auntie," a 10 year old calls over to me.  "Your shoes."

I wonder what's wrong with my shoes.

"Don't eat with your shoes on." she says in a disgusted way.

"What?  Why?"

"Those are toilet shoes!"

I'm wearing pink flip flops that I brought from home.  I'm confused.

She motions for me to remove my shoes and place them behind me.  I obey quickly to end the embarrassment.  I'm ok with learning from the kids but I'm humiliated to think the many adults in the room noticed too.  I'm sure they see Americans doing these things all the time, but I was still embarrassed.

When I returned to India the 2nd time I thought it would be cute to paint my toe nails in the Indian colors.  I marched around Campus displaying my patriotic toes for 2 weeks.  The little kids loved it but I noticed the older girls brushed it off.

The 3rd time I returned a Rising Star an employee remarked on my toes and informed me the Indians don't wear "tribal colors"  It's not ok to wear the flag colors.  I thanked him for telling me and realized having the flag on my FEET was probably a double insult. :/

The next morning I splattered dark purple polish on my toes.

Today here was an event on campus that offered a chance for volunteers to dress in a Sari, traditional women clothing.  Sam had bought me one on our last trip out so I was excited to wear it.  Sari's are impossible to put on without the help of an Indian woman.  My Sari took the help of 2 experts.  Modesty is very important here!!  The women are very careful how they appear in the presence of men.  Ankles are covered, chests are covered, & knees are NOT to be shown.  It escapes me why showing their middle is ok when my modesty standards are opposite in that manner.  When I wear a Sari I actually cover more of my body than they do in order to dress to my modesty standards.

After 2 safety pins, several pleats and tucks I was wrapped!

I quickly learned how NOT to walk while wearing a Sari.  My stride needed to be shortened, my posture demure, and bending-not an option.

This presented a problem right away.  I was documenting the event with my video camera.  The reason that was a problem was the event was a TRACK MEET! (more about that later)  

It would have been nice to be able to run to different spots for optimal location but instead I had to pretend to be graceful.  

This is where the humiliation comes in.  After walking all over the field- to and fro, around and up, I found myself surround by 3 Indian women.   

"Come miss" one urgently whispered to me as she guided me to the building behind us.  I could tell by her mannerisms she was trying to spare me from public humiliation.  Once we walked through an office door the room was inspected and I was told wait.  While I waited I tried to tuck in my material that had come loose at my side.

"No, No!"  The woman said.  "Don't touch!"

I stood there and my face went RED.  I was so confused.

Not long after, a man, (the principal) walked out of an adjoining room and through our location.  I realized that was the reason I needed to wait.  There is to be no fussing with clothing in the presence of  men.

Once he passed through she closed the door behind him and locked it then proceeded to fix my Sari behind closed doors.
The issue didn't seem to be a big deal to me.  It took 3 seconds to fix it but to them it was a matter of modesty and perhaps dignity.  I was so thankful she took care of me.  I wouldn't have wanted to violate such an important part of their culture.

As soon as the celebrations were over I quickly changed, eager to remove the embarrassment attached with it.  I slipped on some fresh clothes from the volunteer closet and returned for more activities.  After a dance recital a little girl about 10 years old walked up to me and asked:  "What is your name?"

After I told her she bluntly announced "You are wearing my shirt."

What?  I told her I got it from the volunteer closet.

"It is my shirt.  I used it for a dance costume." 

The all too familiar red face began to burn for the 2nd time in a day.

I offered my apologies and she requested I return it to her in the next day.

I left the celebrations totally deflated of spirit but overflowing with embarrassment.  

It's tough being in a different culture.

  

School Day

Today I spent some time at the Rising Star Outreach school.  Things are different than the last time I was here.  The major change is the new uniforms they wear.  They turned blue!

They are also required to wear belts, ties, and shoes unlike last year.  The reason is to help them focus at school by dressing in a professional way.  The volunteers are also asked to wear more formal clothes while in the school.

 I happened to walk pass a classroom singing their morning prayer.  It was so sweet.  They must speak English during school hours. Their cute little accents are adorable.

 I fell asleep on the cement during an orientation outside last night. I can't say that I have done that before.  I love my sleep but this was rediculous.  I missed the entire presentation then stumbled to bed right after it was over.  I slept so well, and it was welcomed too. 

5am rolled around and I was wide eyed and bushy tailed.  6:30am I went on a walk with my camera.  It was a cool morning.  In fact, the weather this time of year is perfect.  It's not HOT.  Most days there is a slight breeze.  I've been here in the middle of summer so this feels great!

Here are some things I saw:

My appetite kicked in today.  I finally felt hungry.  The bad thing is the dinner is always rice and their rice doesn't sit well with me.  I get terrible stomach pains!!  After I eat it feels like I have rocks inside my belly.  I did an experiment and discovered if I only eat a little bit of rice I can get by. 

India is beautiful.  I never put my camera down.